WALKING YOUR TALK
by Gail Raborn
Talk is cheap and easy. Lots of
folks talk big: about their spiritual prowess, their high level of emotional
awareness, their creative abilities, their healing skills. But once again,
talk is cheap. It’s walking your talk, that’s tough. And this
is where many people fall down.
No amount of awareness of your personal gifts or talents takes the place of putting them into action, so your life can reflect the truth of who you really are. And who you really are is not who you say you are, not what you say you know or can do, but what you actually accomplish.
I know a man who’s spent a lot of time in the Amazonian rainforest studying shamanism. He can talk up a storm about his knowledge of other realities, his high spiritual attainment, the need to bring healing to the planet. But his actions belie his words, with his tendency to live off other people’s generosity, his refusal to create his own living, his total focus on his own needs to the exclusion of all others, even his own kids. Walking his talk? No way. Just lots of hot air.
Then there’s the client I had not long ago who loved to talk about her insights with her battle with alcoholism. A brilliant woman, she’d read all there was to know about addiction. But would she take the steps needed to stop drinking? No: there was always an excuse. AA groups were too “unevolved”, she couldn’t fit in the time for other alcohol programs, nor could she do the growth homework that emerged from her sessions with me. She preferred to expound, not act. The result? Chronic binge drinking, her health deteriorating.
So what stops people from truly walking their talk? Lack of commitment, for starters. Until there is a decision, a commitment to create, heal, or grow, you’re stuck in the realm of empty words. Once that true commitment is made, the heavens begin to rearrange themselves to bring the opportunities you need to make your goal a reality.
Commitment means being willing to go through all kinds of unpleasant confrontations with your own weaknesses, fears and self-limiting beliefs in order to open to a new way of perceiving life and yourself.
Commitment means sticking with your decisions, even when it’s hard, learning not to be a quitter. It means taking responsibility for your progress, and not blaming others if the road is hard or you stumble.
Another requirement to turn talk into reality, is that much loathed term, self-discipline. Without it, your talk will remain just that and no more. Unless you drop your lazy attitudes and excuses for not doing what you say you know or wish to do in life, you’re stuck in inaction. Not that it’s easy! But consider the delight and pride in yourself when you actually go for that early morning walk you desperately need, or create daily time for writing the book you’ve talked about for years. You’ll become a true role model to your family and friends, not just a blow-hard.
Beware of using New Age or spiritual concepts as excuses for failure to act. A lot of inaction is justified by twisting such truths as, “all paths lead to God”, “the Universe will take care of me” or “ It’s all good”. Then there’s the temptation to use astrology or the Enneagram to justify inaction: like, “ I can’t help my passivity, I’m a Enneagram “9” (or a Gemini with too many ideas).“
Self-delusion is a major trap. Rather than seeing the truth about themselves, many people live in a fantasyland where they star. But pretending you’re something you’re not is a dead end road, based on denial of reality. Yes, it’s hard to see and admit the truth about yourself. But your life reflects like a mirror the truth of who you are. So if you’re dependent on others for fiscal or emotional survival, you’re not an independent person. If that great book is always just an idea in your head, you’re not a serious writer. If your kids are having lots of problems, don’t brag about what a great parent you are.
If you’re not walking your talk, as much as I value energy work, no amount of chakra balancing is going to change it. You’ve got to get off your ass, get honest, and get moving to make your life work for you, not against you. For this is the challenge: to use your talk as a template for your action, follow through, and live your words.
Gail Raborn CHT is a Transformational Therapist/Hypnotherapist, Interactive Imagery Therapist, and Personal Coach. She works with adults, teens and couples in her office and by telephone. Trade considered. For a free introductory session, call: (00 - 1) - 505 - 751 - 7310. Please visit her website: www.telehealing.com
Copyright Gail Raborn - Oct. 2002
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